There’s a lot of do this not that out there, especially in mom blogs and I am naïve to think I would be any different. When I first thought of starting a blog I rolled my eyes at myself. I’m an expert at basically nothing (but sort of okay at a variety of random things), probably wouldn’t be able to avoid sounding judgy and am only marginally funny. But then I got to thinking: that’s exactly it, we are all just like that even if only deep in the back of our minds. Way back there, when we are hiding from our children in the pantry or “taking a long bath” with the door locked, we are constantly running things over in our mind, mom guilt-ing like pros. How could I have done that better? Why aren’t my kids x, y or z? How much time will my son spend talking about things I did wrong when he is an adult in therapy? I think that stuff all the time, so how am I even qualified to discuss it, let alone tell you what to do in my blog? I’m freaking out. I don’t know how to do parenting. I’m guilty of mom guilt!
We’re All The Same, We Just Do Things Slightly Different
I am not perfect. In fact, sometimes I’m downright awful. Other times, it seems like I might be getting one or two things right or that maybe I’ve come across a cheat code some how to ace some particular aspect of parenting (I’m looking at you perfect record of non-picky eaters). The thing is, you there, scrolling through this post, are exactly the same. You are an ace at certain things and there are some things you wish you did a little bit better.
And so the great thing about this commonality is that we can just stop feeling bad about those second place losses and days we just completely phone it in. There’s no reason to freak out about that because we’re human, even, and especially, when it comes to our tiny humans. We are all just trying to raise our children not to be maniacal serial killers and perhaps even go a step further and hoping for some level of future happiness for them.
Don’t Look Over There. Don’t! Look Here. Look Now.
Whether you are just some average mom, one of those high-falutin’ millennial moms or an old fogie who’s been mommin’ it up since the 50’s we all ultimately want exactly the same thing for our children and how we get there is only consequential. It doesn’t matter that this lady on your Facebook mom group cloth diapers, feeds all the right probiotics, never even looks at plastic and also makes $450,000 a year on her homemade, organic, vegan cheesemaking business she runs from her homestead in the most comfortably liberal (but financially conservative!) state in the country. It doesn’t even matter. Because I guarantee you she once downed a pint of Cherry Garcia staying up late studying for her Communications final. And she probably totally uses disposable tampons too.
So, let’s just set aside the mom guilt, at a minimum while you’re here reading with me, but better yet leave it under your high school arch nemesis’ bed next to her compression stockings and menthol cigarettes and don’t ever bring it out again. Starting right here, right now, we simply change our thinking about how we parent, how we compare and what the results will be. Here, we are all just sort of doing the very best we can.